A Dream Fulfilled
Four years ago, my wife and I were sitting in our family room staring at a single question on our adoption paperwork:
“Gender preference?”
We already had three boys biologically. Three incredible, energetic, fiercely loyal momma’s boys. My wife is genuinely gifted at raising boys — the chaos, the noise, the endless movement — she was built for it.
But she also has something with her own mother that’s hard to describe. A closeness that’s lasted decades and still shows up every single day. She wanted to know what it felt like to build that from the very beginning with a daughter.
And I had my own reasons. I dreamed of daddy-daughter dances and walking her down the aisle. I also joked to my wife that I wanted a girl because there was a chance — just a chance — that one of our kids might actually like me better.
Saying It Out Loud
Our attorney was honest with us: choosing “girl” could extend the timeline significantly. Many birth mothers don’t have access to prenatal care, including ultrasounds. Most families choose “no preference” to keep things moving. It’s the practical decision, the one the data supports.
But we had a real conversation about it. Adding a girl to a household of boys was equal parts thrilling and unknown — we’d never done this before. Still, we were confident.
We said out loud what we actually wanted, put the timing in God’s hands, and handed the form back in.
Getting the Call
Four and a half months later, we were holding our daughter.
For context, four and a half months is remarkably fast — it’s far more common for adoptive families to wait a year or more. We had only recently completed our home study and hadn’t even finished our preview book when the call came. There was something in the timing that felt like confirmation.
If you want the full story of how it all unfolded — the process, the wait, the faith that carried us through — I wrote about it in detail here.
From the Very First Breath
The moment she was born, they brought her straight to our room. She was a C-section, like all three of my boys — but with the boys, I was never able to cut the cord. This time, I did. My wife held her skin to skin in those first minutes, and she was ours from the very first breath.
She’s almost four now. And yes — she’s a total momma’s girl. My plan backfired completely, and I couldn’t be more grateful for it. My wife is her whole world, and watching that bond grow has been one of the great joys of our lives together.
The boys, for their part, are fiercely devoted to their little sister. When I told them that if any boy is ever mean to her, they have my full permission to do whatever it takes to protect her — their eyes lit up. “Can we kick him in the face?” Yes. Yes you can.
The Staircase
Last night was our first daddy-daughter dance.
She got ready at a friend’s house with their girls, and when I arrived to pick her up, she came down the staircase and ran straight to me with a huge hug.
She looked so beautiful. She was so excited to see me.
I stood there holding her and thought about that form we filled out four years ago — the box we checked when our attorney was quietly suggesting we keep our options open.
At the dance, she was enchanted by the bubble machine. She’d reach up from my arms, trying to grab every single bubble floating past, laughing every time one popped.
I just held her and watched her and tried to stay inside the moment as long as I could.
Four years. One dream. Completely fulfilled.
What I Keep Coming Back To
We were scared when we filled out the forms, honestly. We were used to raising boys, and the idea of a daughter was as thrilling as it was unknown. But we said out loud what we actually wanted, handed it over, and trusted the rest.
Not every story goes that way. We know how fortunate we are.
But if there’s anything I’d want someone to take from ours, it’s this: sometimes the most important thing you can do is be honest about what you’re hoping for — even when you can’t control what comes next.
She slept well last night, probably dreaming about bubbles. And my heart is completely full.
Want the full story of our adoption journey? I go deep on all of it — the process, the wait, and the faith that carried us through — in this post: Our Adoption Story.
Oh what a beautiful story! Special moments and memories indeed.